Category Archives: Personal reflections

Don’t solve your problems!

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Problems should not be solved

Does that sound weird to you? You probably learned that you should solve problems. So did I. But i changed my thoughts about the “problem solving attitude”.  Solving problems never really worked well.  Okay, I solved some of them but you know what happens: after solving issue A issue B is knocking on your door, and so on.  A never ending problem circle. Do you recognise this? Think back about situations in your life and ask yourself if problems in your life are gone or still present…

Facing challenges

People are very creative, our mind is for sure! When we face challenges in life we start thinking about how to overcome them. We think about several strategies, most people do that. Our mind is working non stop. When thinking of solutions we also focus on the problem/situation itself and what might happen if there is no solution. For example: you face an empty or almost empty bank account. You start thinking what to do to fill it, because bills got to be paid etc.  So you need money asap. Your mind thinks about selling stuff, looking for a job, earning some pennies online, a loan, and so on… Meanwhile you realise you need a miracle. And then fear comes in: what if you will not be able to earn a single dollar… you won’t be able to pay the bills, you have no food on the table, you… (fill in the blank). You start feeling panic, fearfull thoughts arise, your heartbeat rises, you feel very bad! Some people will even start feeling depressed, not knowing what to do. Imagine what this does to your body and your mood!

What you focus on will grow bigger

So you focus on your issue, in our example the empty bank account, but it can be any kind of problem. You don’t feel good, because besides you try to solve the situation, you worry about the outcome. We all do if we act like this.  Your energy is low, your mood fearfull, down, angry, or you experience panic. You start feeling tired because of all the worries you experience. And you can’t stop thinking about them. Instead of taking a break your mind creates more fearful thoughts or weird solutions to “solve” your situation.  Your focus is on the problem, even when you focus on solutions. Solutions are part of the problem! And it grows bigger and bigger, that is what happens when we try to solve situations and problems. Or in other life experiences. It is a Universal Law: the more you focus on something, the more you think about it, the bigger it gets!

Rise above your problems!

Instead of thinking about your situations, issues, problems, etc. and what to do to “solve”  them simply rise above them! Stop putting energy in thoughts and feelings that make you feel bad, sad, fearfull, down, etc. You really don’t want these emotions and thoughts to grow! If you decide to rise above whatever situation you face in life you let it go, you free yourself and chose to feel good, whatever happens. This empties your mind, you will feel relieved even with the empty bank account from our example. Instead of focusing on what to do and being afraid you simply let it go. You refuse to let negative energy in your life, you refuse to feel bad, because those actions won’t help you at all! If you rise above your problems and chose to feel good whatever happens you might be surprised of what will happen.

In a positive state of mind you are open to receive!

Remember what you focus on will grow bigger. Think and feel positive and you will attract solutions for whatever situation on auto-pilot. That is the way the Universe works. You should never worry about situations in life, no matter how challenging they are. Refuse to be overwhelmed, refuse to be a victim of the circumstances. Take back your inner power, rise and rise and rise above all unwanted stuff in life, no matter how big or small the issue is. Step aside and focus on good feelings, take positive actions, accept the problems and situations in your life the way they are and try to learn from them. The Universe will respond in a positive way, believe me, all you need to do is trust in this Universal Law.

 

It takes time and exercise

It takes some exercise to become an expert in not to worry and stop being a problem solver, enjoy the experience, have patience and do your best. Go for it. Don’t be harsh to yourself if you fail. You can’t fail by the way, by being aware of your thoughts, emotions and moodswings,  you are doing a great job! When unwanted feelings, thoughts etc. enter your system simply take a step back, take a deep breath and focus on something completely different. Something that makes YOU feel good.

Your life will start changing for the better. You will experience pleasant surprises, unexpected positive things will come out of the blue! Miracles will happen. That’s what happens if you chose to rise above whatever problem, situation, challenge in life. Try it out, you have nothing to lose.  Start with small things and when you are succesfull take it to the next level. Maybe you have a partner or friend that wants to exercise with you, so you have support of someone like minded. Or share your experiences here on WP, share on Facebook, or your personal website.  Start journaling!

I wish you the best of luck. You can do it, I know you can! Let me know what you think, share your experiences with me in a comment. I love to hear from you!

 

Childhood memories (1)

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This way or another fear has always been part of my life…

My memories go back to age 3, don’t believe it? They really do! First thing I remember is very sad: we were on a vacation, I had a favorite doll I got from my grandmother. I still have that doll by the way!

My parents and I were taking a walk, at age 3 I wasn’t able to walk as fast as they did, at that time I wished I was but I simply couldn’t meet their expectations. And what they expected from me was crazy. After hours (at least a long time but to me at that time it felt like hours) walking my mother yelled at me i should walk faster or she would hurt my doll… The doll has a name, a Dutch one, in Dutch it is: “de zielige”, in English it would be “the pathetic”, even at the age of 3, a very young little girl, I reflected all my emotions into that doll and that was the reason I called her like that. My childhood was a nightmare, starting from day one I arrived to this world!

My mother threatened to hurt my doll… I started crying, noooooo please don’t hurt “de zielige”/”the pathetic”… That doll meant everything to me. I shared everything with her. I wanted to protect my doll from getting hurt, but I couldn’t, my legs were so tired, I was exhausted, I wasn’t a bad girl… But my mother thought different, she took my doll and started kicking it. Yes she did… so mean, she yelled at me I had to rescue my doll or she would kill her.

I cried out loud not understanding that people could be so mean. It hurt so much! Back to my fear issue… I was afraid she would really KILL my doll (at that time I believed my doll was a living being). She kicked my doll over and over again, she made me run to “catch” it…

So that was my first conscious experience with fear. A so much beloved doll was about to be killed… by the person I was supposed to love more than anything in the world, my mother…

Many more scary things happened to me in life, my childhood memories are dominated with fear. Fear became the main issue in my life… also when I reached the adult age. And right now still parts of that fear are part of my life…

Why am I writing this? Because of the blog I posted about my beliefs about money

I came to the conclusion that I’m afraid of money… and that is totally understandable after a childhood of horror (my 1st experience was just the beginning of horror).

Now don’t misunderstand me: I share this because I’m on a journey, an inner journey, to become aware of what’s holding me back to live the life I really want, to feel free, to be happy, to be abundant!

The message I got since childhood was totally wrong. I don’t want to stick there, my past must not be like super glue, it shouldn’t and I don’t want it like that!

But on my inner journey, it is important to become aware… and move on from there… I’m not the little girl anymore, no more bad adults kicking my most beloved doll… But I do realise this is the main cause of my fear… not only the fears about money, also being afraid to live, to follow my heart, to believe in me… Amazing how a bad childhood can lead to dramatic consequences at a later age (right now I’m 42).

I’ll be reflecting on childhood more, not because I feel trapped, but because of the awareness process, to point the finger to the cause… and to go on from there, to solve it, to let it go… to conquer my fear(s)…

I can do it… you can too… become real… face it, and continue from there… I don’t want to live in the past… I want to live in the present moment! Because that is all there is… not the past, not the future, only the NOW… and that moment is the past as soon as you read my words… a split second and it’s part of your beautiful history…Forget about that idea… just experience where you are RIGHT NOW… yes you can and so can I…